10 Common Relationship Issues of Married Couples and Ways to Deal With Them
No marriage is perfect and relationship issues cannot be avoided in a long-term relationship like marriage. There are a number of issues that married couples go through and here are the common relationship issues couples usually deal with.
Differences in values. Although couples are united as one under the matrimony of marriage, the truth cannot be denied that they are two individuals raised differently and have different set of values. The differences in values can lead to arguments and misunderstandings. One way to deal with differences in values is to learn to choose your battles. If you cannot win against your spouse, learn to accept things as they are or agree to disagree. But it is better to find a middle ground and compromise. Marriage is the union of two individuals and you both have to learn to co-exist and love each other despite your differences to create a harmonious family.
Infidelity. One of the common relationship issues that can lead to divorce is infidelity or cheating. An affair can ruin your marriage and can have a long lasting effect on your children. Infidelity is not only about physical or sexual infidelity but it also include emotional infidelity and intimacy with another person over the internet. Whether you do it offline or online, as long as it involves physical or emotional intimacy with another person other than your spouse, it is a form of cheating or infidelity and this is a big issue in a marriage. Although many couples were able to save their marriage after an affair, it is better to avoid it in the first place. Creating a deep and strong connection with your spouse can help you stay focused on your marriage and avoid the temptations of an affair.
Sex problems. Sex is an important part of a romantic relationship like marriage because it is a medium where couples can connect emotionally and physically. One of the common relationship issues is sexual dissatisfaction. If you or your spouse are not sexually satisfied in your marriage, issues may arise. Sexual dissatisfaction can stem from the feeling of rejection, the pain of not being asked or pursued or from frustrations of not getting the sexual pleasure you are expecting from your marriage. Although there are couples who survived a sexless marriage (couples who are having ten or less sexual activities in a year can be considered living in a sexless marriage), most couples still preferred a marriage with a satisfying active sex life. It is important to be honest and open with your spouse about your sexual desires and work together on how to spice up your sex life. Find the underlying reasons for the lack of sexual intimacy in your marriage and work from there to solve the sexual issues in your relationship. Sexual issues may lead to other marital problems like infidelity if you failed to recognize and resolve them.
Pressure at work or careers. If couples are working or pursuing individual careers, issues may occur. One of the common relationship issues that can shake a marriage is the pressure at work. If you are stressed out at work, you can bring it at home and it can affect your behavior towards your spouse. When you are both pursuing different careers and want to be successful, the marriage might suffer. It is a fact that most working married couples spend more time at work than at home. Balancing work and married life is not easy. While stress at work and in your marriage are normal part of life, you have to learn how to handle stress to create a fulfilling and well-balanced married life. It is important for couples to set their priorities and be supportive to each other’s careers. Besides, in the end you will both benefit from having successful careers and married life. People who are happy and successful with their jobs tend to be happier with their personal lives. It is not easy but it possible to have a successful career and married life.
Money issues. Money can affect and ruin your marriage. Issues with money is one of the common relationship issues that can really affect a marriage. Problems may occur if couples have different behavior and mentality about money. When one is a saver and another is a spender, problems may occur. When there is too much debts and financial issues, the marriage may suffer. It is important for couples to be on the same page when it comes to money matters. It is best to sit down and talk about how to handle money matters (salary, daily budget, expenses for your children, paying debts, paying taxes, savings and other expenses) in your marriage. Open communication and joint financial decision can help couples avoid money issues in their marriage. It is important to understand that in a marriage there is no such thing as “your money”, “my money” or “your debts” and “my debts” but it is now “our money”, “our debts”. Couples should work together as a team to solve the financial issues in their marriage and celebrate together whenever they are financial achievements.
Lack of time. Not giving time for your spouse is one of the common relationship issues that can affect the intimacy level of couples. The marriage could fall apart and couples could grow apart when they failed to spend quality time with each other. Lack of time can make couple’s love for each other fade away. Although it is not easy to divide your time between your work, children and other responsibilities, you still have to make time for your spouse. Couples need to find time alone with each other to strengthen their bond and connection with each other. Time alone with your spouse should be included in your daily schedule if you want to keep a long-lasting marriage. Time alone with your spouse may include an hour of daily chat or talk, regular date nights and vacations.
Boredom. Lack of fun and excitement can make the marriage dull and boring. Boredom can kill a marriage. Marriage is a life-long relationship and couples tend to fall into a routine life that makes the marriage boring eventually. It is important to break the routine and bring more excitement in your marriage to avoid boredom. Keep the romance in your marriage alive, spice up your sex life, be spontaneous, have fun together, discover something new together and be adventurous.
Too much jealousy. A little jealousy can be healthy in a marriage but too much of it can be destructive to your marriage and to you as a person. If too much or irrational jealousy becomes a habit it can ruin your marriage and can affect your ability to create relationships with people around you. It will not only ruin your marriage but it can bring too much stress to you, can make you bitter, unhappy, war freak, nagger, angry and can affect your physical health. If you are the jealous spouse, learn to trust your spouse more and do not give in to your insecurities and self-pity. If you have a jealous spouse, do not give your spouse reasons to get jealous and show that you are committed to your marriage.
Family issues. When you get married, you also married everything about your spouse including your in-laws and the children from your spouse’s previous marriage or relationship. Your spouse’s extended family can cause conflicts and strain on your marriage. Family issues is one of the common relationship issues couples have to deal with. It is important to address these issues together as a couple or as a team. Learn how to communicate, co-exist and create a healthy relationship with your extended family. It is not easy and it needs a lot of work but in the end your marriage will benefit from creating a loving and harmonious relationship with your extended family.
Poor or lack of communication. One of the common relationship issues that can ruin a marriage is poor or lack of communication. When couples started to keep quiet and stopped communicating, the marriage will surely suffer. A healthy communication between couples strengthens the marriage and makes it last longer. Conflicts and misunderstandings in a marriage can stem from lack of communication. It is not good to just assume that you know what your spouse is thinking because it often leads to misunderstandings. Talking with each other regularly or sitting down to talk about the issues in your marriage is healthy to your marriage. Effective communication is not only about talking but it is also about listening. You should know when to stop talking and start listening. Communication is not only verbal but also includes writing, texting or calling each other. Whatever medium you choose, the most important thing is that you and your spouse can understand each other through effective communication.
Creating a long lasting marriage is not an overnight thing. It takes years of work and trials to create a lasting marriage. Problems and conflicts are inevitable but what is important is that couples know how to resolve whatever marital issues they have to save their marriage.